"New Year's Eve equals sparkly shit." This is what I told my friend on the phone while standing in my closet trying to decide what to wear to his New Year's Eve party. "I saw a girl at HEB wearing so many sequins she looked like she was in a marching band" he responded.
The funniest thing about wearing this "sparkly shit" the night of New Year's Eve is that the next day you inevitably wake up from a night of drinking looking like a _____. (fill in the blank options include: crack whore, homeless gay man, drunk dancing queen).
Here's what I looked like getting home this morning:
